| Last Day of Class! |
[8. 15. 09 // @ 4 : 11 pm] |
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Okay, I'd just like to take a moment to pat myself on the back. I am officially beginning my 2.5 weeks of summer vacation!!! Woo! It actually made me wonder... Who would have pegged me for the type to stay for the summer to take classes? I have to be honest, I would not have. To reward myself I got a really big milkshake and made myself nice and sick off it. It feels like success.
The air and water show is going on and these big sickeningly fast jets keep screaming around over the city. I have to be honest, the thought of a weapon toting jet moving that fast is really making me a bit nervous. I hope I'm never at the recieving end of one of those...
Anyway, I'm supposed to be going to the lovely Rachels housewarming party ( though they've lived there at least two months now...) but I also have to get up nice and early to go see Ponyo with Andrew tomorrow. What has suddenly possessed him to start seriously spending time with me again I may never know, but I kinda like it. He is the only person I know around here who shares my enthusiasm about Studio Ghibli. I think I'll ask Ethan to go to Rachels with me... We haven't really spoken since I was hit by a rock and we made up. Hmmm. I wonder if he still hates me. To be honest, I feel like curling up with a book and watching Totoro. I was so restless last night over my test...and screening. I'll be uploading the film but I feel like it's more of a rough cut at this time... Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Wakey wakey |
[7. 22. 09 // @ 11 : 21 am] |
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I sort of just wanted to try out posting on my iPod, but I figure I'll go all out. It's been slow living here in chi town. A surprising fact considering the average speed of this city can probably be measured on one of acmes bombs ("that wiley wabbit!"). Despite that, I've been trying to take it slow as my poor pathetic summer spent on class and advancing myself wraps up. I have a newfound pity for people with lifelong fulltome jobs that just suck the life out of them year round until they retire or die. Morbid, eh? (with the exception of the lucky people who enjoy their jobs...yay you!) it's jsut given me time to think and wonder, do I enjoy the job I'm torturing myself with college to attain? I'll have to think about it. Until then, I'm off to yet another "group meeting" woohoo?
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| Welcome Back... |
[3. 20. 09 // @ 12 : 56 pm] |
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I'm approaching with great trepidation, I hope you will understand.
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[1. 1. 08 // @ 7 : 32 pm] |
i dont even know how i feel right now
this week has just been a roller coaster...and im kind of just not happy right now. verge of tears not happy and i can only think of one reason to feel this way but its really just not legitamate. so idk what my issue is.
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[12. 28. 07 // @ 9 : 59 am] |
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going to illusions with alden and adam tonight... [=
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[12. 16. 07 // @ 6 : 55 pm] |
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is there any way i can get more of those maps? like the ones that i didnt take from av for months...?
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| What Do You Have To Say? - Winter Food & Drink |
[12. 15. 07 // @ 1 : 35 pm] |
In the Winter I tend to go into hibernation mode, where I gorge on everything from cheese to chocolate. I eat, sleep, and bake more- and let me say the baking is the best part. Cookies, cakes, and pies start appearing in my kitchen, and then the creative part of my soul starts thinking gingerbread houses and graham cracker Christmas trees would be exciting too. Soups and bread become a staple, and the franken-child of the two- chili in a bread bowl - is always a staple. Then by Spring I become tired of all this and silly things like grapes replace my calorie enhanced Winter diet. [=
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[12. 4. 07 // @ 5 : 50 pm] |
is leopard done installing? naomi is horrible at conveying messages. she was just like yeah theres five something or others left. so i was like why did he send the disc? and shes like because he felt like it. go away.
hurrah. shes a brat.
maya 2008 came out today. woopdidoo.
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[10. 30. 07 // @ 9 : 45 am] |
Undiscovered by Jen Crowe
acoustic version.
yeah.
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[10. 29. 07 // @ 11 : 30 pm] |
innappropriate and creepy thing numer 63 that my mother has said this week (and its only monday) :
"god it took you so long to get home i thought you and mr. teutsch had eloped."
yeah mom, your a creep. btw.
just thought i should write it down so when she dies and i start to feel bad i can look back and remember what a horrible person she is.
just kidding.
but seriously. what kind of comment is that?
weirdo.
moving on.
i dont want to forget the things teutsch said today. just because they actually meant something. it probably had to do with the fact that i had just quit on him. the internet just got turned off so im gonna wrap this up. but basically: teutsch said something that reminded me a lot of something gandalf says...
So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide... All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
i was really upset about this being the end and nobody caring or trying and how heartbroken i let myself get over the games...its my last year..im a senior...my last chance...and weve only won two games...i didnt want to feel like this anymore.
idk.
stupid reason i guess...i just love volleyball so much..i dont want to lose it..i dont want to hurt when i lose it...so i guess i threw it away. i dont know why. it made sense at the time. im retarded. dont mind me.
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[10. 28. 07 // @ 9 : 59 pm] |
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is it bad if my laptop sounds like a helicopter?
not that i dont know the answer, i just want to be lied to and told everythings alright.
go macbooks! xD
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[10. 5. 07 // @ 7 : 58 pm] |
somehow i managed to delete parallels from my computer.
kill me.
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[9. 8. 07 // @ 5 : 27 pm] |
this day in history
f period perhaps?
im thinking ill do one for sep. 30th to start...
1955: Actor James Dean dies at the age of 24 in an automobile accident in California, having starred in only three motion pictures.
because on the sunday before that ashley backhause invited me to go to NY with her.
hopefully mmtv isnt starting before the 30th
lemme know.
h period too i guess. then i could work with nick...? idk. just a thought. whatever.
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[7. 21. 07 // @ 11 : 00 pm] |
kakleyyyyy
time and place?
estimated amount of cash needed?
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[7. 20. 07 // @ 11 : 09 pm] |
mmk
what time am i meeting you at the school?
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[7. 14. 07 // @ 4 : 52 pm] |
ok andria is upset
not only is she upset shes disapointed
to top that off shes hurt.
thanks so much world, im glad you enjoy sucking every last ounce of hope out of me.
fuck you fate.
and if anyone says anything about karma i will seriously break their neck.
damn it.
]'=
i hate you.
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[6. 30. 07 // @ 11 : 19 am] |
speilberg film perhaps?
maybe?
hmm?
im reaching for the stars baby haha
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[6. 22. 07 // @ 10 : 28 am] |
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Hey kakley, mr flynn just called me and asked if you knew of any places i might internship at (since i absolutely refuse to work at ctsb. obviously.) sooooo get back to him or something. idk.
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[6. 18. 07 // @ 10 : 44 pm] |
soooo
here in lies the question:
where on earth does my sister get birthday colored packaging for the mail??
and does she know how to make a girl feel guilty?? i think so....
oh and it gets better:
guilt guilt guilt
man i love laura sometimes. shes currently playing the part of my good conciounce....(sp?) haha meh.
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[6. 16. 07 // @ 12 : 34 pm] |
sooooo
i put my psych stuff in my cubby thinking that i didnt need it anymore
but then i got a call from mr piazzo asking to turn some stuff in....and now i need it.
im so screwed.
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[6. 14. 07 // @ 2 : 47 pm] |
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i forgot my birthday poster, could you grab it?
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[6. 7. 07 // @ 8 : 18 pm] |
i just walked back in your head
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
when i get a little scared...when i get a little scared...when i get a little scared...when i get a little scared...when i get a little scared...when i get a little scared...run run run
sooooo
im so close.
ohhh so close to getting outta school and into my birthday and summer and yay.
tonight i need to write a:
english report on "what is frankensteins problem"
3 fritz haber essays for chem
erickson paper for psych
final paper for psych
and i also need to finish all of last quarters work for math and this quarters.
WOOO
im excited
i was late to the wise interviews...by about ten minutes and i felt completely retarded.
but i had a guy thats from east otis and knows my uncle jimmy (who just so happens to be my godfather....) so that was cool
the lady didnt seem so very enthusiastic...mehh
and the other guy came too late to hear me
so he couldnt judge much.
jsdfhsdfhsajdfh im feeling kinda frustrated but i felt good when it was happening...now im just a bit concerned and stuff...blah.
i hope i did better than i think i did anyway.
oh well
if i didnt im going ahead with it anyway. i need a full length for my portfolio.
i just walked back in your head.
(-Back in your head by tegan and sara from new cd the con. mhmmm good things coming from this cd. i heart it.)
build a wall of books between us in our bed, repeat repeat the words that i know we both said relax into the need we get so comfortable
:D :D :D :D
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| a poem made out of songs...uhhh im not bored.... |
[5. 22. 07 // @ 7 : 39 pm] |
Suppose I never, ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never, ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never, ever saw you
Suppose you never, ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
I’m just as nervous as you
last night I took one look at you
and I got this feeling you’re the right one
So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer
'Cause a dream is a weapon
And I think about you everyday
So come for the danger,
stay for the strange
But I'm never going to give it away
i love you always forever
near and far push it together
everywhere i will be with you
everything i put before you
Our dreams, they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
if youve got it to give youve gotta give it all
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved
So hold up wait a minute put a little love in it
Some things are meant to be the way they're gonna be
'Cos you can't stop time or change history
Sometimes all you saw were the things you wanted to see
if you be looking for the answer you would have to go to me
'Cos now you've only got a moment boy
To get it right to get it right to get it right to get it right
So if you really wanted me you'd show me how
'Cos I'm your little remedy if you take me now
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[5. 20. 07 // @ 8 : 41 am] |
i cannot find fucking delleas fucking disc with all his crap on it.
fucking hell
why the fuck am i doing a senior video?
whos retarded idea was that?
im not organized enough for an actual deadline.
what the fuck.
fuckety fuck fuck.
if i kill dellea today it is not my fault. its his for making me do his video when i was asked to do aldens and dellea was like nooo shes doing me. when the fuck did i say i wanted too. i knew i had to but i never said i wanted anybody, and i certainly did not want dellea.
what the fucking hell.
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[5. 16. 07 // @ 8 : 09 pm] |
mmmk my hard drive came in.
1.5 TB
it is gorgeous.
bwahahaha
uhmmmm yay.
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[5. 13. 07 // @ 8 : 25 pm] |
so i may or may not have given your hard drive a heart attack.
it started beeping and making odd noises when i put something on it then a couple minutes later closed everything down and claimed to have been removed when it absolutely had not been. now it wont be noticed by my computer.
fucking hell.
ajsdfhjfaslf
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[4. 30. 07 // @ 9 : 33 pm] |
im waiting on a call from laura...
this is kinda scary...
i think she hates me and im really worried about that...
and its so strange to say because it makes me feel more guilty...but i kinda miss her...
woah.
[=
weird...i love my sister.
who woulda thunk??
i just wish she would call so we could both decide weve matured and can hopefully handle eachother...
but shes a mommy now so she wont have time for me....
meh
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[4. 29. 07 // @ 11 : 02 am] |
patience, patience, patience.
must have patience.
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[4. 28. 07 // @ 5 : 02 pm] |
i dont think words could convey the absolute pure joy today has brought me [=[=[=[=[=[=[=[=
:D :D :D :D :D
eee!
i dare you to identify all the cameras in this picture. =]!!!!
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[4. 27. 07 // @ 9 : 52 pm] |
so i figure when i ask for the custom shoes, the right shoe will have alice on it (facing towars the left shoe) where the mad hatter is...
then along the inside and outside edges until the back of the shoe will be those random critters from the woods scene.
than on the back of one heel will be the queen of hearts juggling the hearts and on the other the rabbit juggling watches...
im trying to figure out a way to fit in the chesire cat, march hare, and mouse.
hmmmm....
but here are alice and the hatter so far... suggestions? critique?
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[4. 27. 07 // @ 3 : 37 pm] |
(413) 329-1051
whos number is that?
it keeps calling me
today it sounded like people were moving things, but when i said hello nobody said anything.
asfhfdjk
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[4. 27. 07 // @ 2 : 09 pm] |
hdjkadajksndajnxn;x
i just remember im supposed to take pictures of barbara today at 3:30...
dnsfskjfgndfvdfjnve crap
crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap
and before that im supposed to take a test with mrs king, the same one that is from 2nd quarter and will close my grade. fooking ell.
nfdjkfnasdkjvncsjkvndafjkvnkdfbnfbjkdnf
i hate my immune system.
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[4. 26. 07 // @ 9 : 51 pm] |
when i got home naomi and mom said i look horrible and watched as a fell attempting to climb the stairs and then watched me fall asleep way quicker than i normall can, and while that is nice, its also dangerous as i kept falling asleep everywhere i went today.
im still really really dizzy, and naomi looked up allergic reactions to the gardisil and everyone thinks thats what is wrong. so tomorrow im staying home to go to the hospital.
hurrah...
kakley would you pretty please apologize profusely to mrs staunton.
and this gives me a chance to watch king kong, maybe ill call the school when i do and make you talk about it when i do.
idk
im so very very tired im afraid i might fall asleep again so im off...
good night everyone...
addjksadjkadnjkwfn dont i have all the luck? getting an allergic reaction. jeeze.
you were right kakley.
congrats.
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[4. 20. 07 // @ 6 : 29 pm] |
heyy kakley,
i cant go to the movie tonight, my dad decided were going fishing and he doesnt wanna go to gb. then i have to babysit because naomi has to go to some soccer thing blah blah blah
im sorry, i really wanted to see this movie.
ill see you monday.
p.s. be nice to terrence, hes gonna end up quiting and if he does ill be totally pissed.
keller, ashley, and dorian are also threatening to quit.
idk
sfjksdhfjkahlajnsdjlkad
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[4. 20. 07 // @ 10 : 35 am] |
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did you get it?
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| yarrr naomi. for the one thing we agree on. sighhhhhh haha |
[4. 19. 07 // @ 12 : 58 am] |
romantic stuff im too lazy to send to yomi right now...
[sexy] is standing up with me pushed up against your car {kissing me in the pouring rain} with no intention of ever stopping
He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then dog pile
on me and kiss me a millon times
We would bet kisses on who could beat who on a playstation game that is a
millon years old.
He would surprise me with 25 cent rings
He would tell all his friends about me and smile when he did it.
We would sit on the kitchen floor and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches..
And we'd kiss in the pouring rain.
if i had three wishes,
i'd waste them all on you.
We would kiss at midnight on New Years.
And make funny faces at eachother when I'm on the phone.
I want a boy who would count stars with me.
Will wait for me at my locker and hold my hand down the halls.
And squirt water guns at eachother in the house.
Someone who would tell me im beautiful but not too often.
Someone who would look me in the eye and tell me something serious that
was also funny and make me promise not to laugh.
Someone who would make me laugh like no one else could.
Someone who would hold me closer than normal when im sick.
And would play with my hair
We would buy tons of disposable cameras and take lots of pictures.
But mostly...
I want someone who would be my best friend
You do your thing and I do my thing.
You are you and I am I.
And, if in the end, we end up together,
it's beautiful.
If asked why I love her I would say
It’s the sway in her hips,
the thickness in her thighs.
It’s the lust in her lips,
the love in her eyes.
It’s the softness of her skin,
the silk in her hair.
It’s the twist in her walk;
it’s the sweetness in her talk.
It’s the way she loves me
that makes me love her each day.
That is what I would say.
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[4. 16. 07 // @ 1 : 31 pm] |
so cheyanne has practice tuesday which means katie probably does too.
i dont exactly have a sign language person period.
i dont have the fucking masks or the fucking confetti
there can be no video, its just fallen apart.
what the fuck.
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[4. 14. 07 // @ 10 : 13 pm] |
WE HAVENT KILLED EACHOTHER YET!
woooo
yeah im pleased.
sooo lotsa stuff going on...mehh
idk what to say i dont really feel like getting into things right now...
kakley monday or wednesday did you wanna film walking with a ghost.
idk
sign language person....i have no idea how thats gonna turn out...
maybe we could film her seperate? like on another day?
idkkkkkk
blah
im so asleep right now, sorry if this makes no sense...
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| are you goin ta school nomi an andra?? |
[4. 13. 07 // @ 6 : 54 am] |
yes braxton, that is why were going out the door like we do every morning, that is why we said "well see you after school"
damn your cute.
blahhh i walked out the door and actually thought of the movie birds because there are sooooo many damn birds out here.really, the sounds, if i were to record it youd think i was in a bird sanctuary or something in one of the cages.
mehh im tired....im not ready for a three hour drive with my mother.
were going to kill eachother.
mehhh lol that will be interesting anyway...
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[4. 11. 07 // @ 10 : 41 pm] |
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hell fucking blah
i feel like shit.
idk why. i have no reason to. i should be really happy, theres a million reasons to be happy but instead i feel upset and uneasy.
something bad is going to happen, i can feel it.
i dont wanna go to school...tomorrow is going to be a bad day. idk why. i can feel it....i dont like this, i dont like this at all...
mehh i should sleep but then im afraid too. i hate to admit it but im afraid to dream. i dont want to have those dreams but at the same time i do. i want to help and if thats how great. i can play medium. but then again ahhh....they just....meh i hate knowing when people will die and such which is why i dont want to sleep...
...i have a bad feeling its about jeff. fucking hell. i cant deal with that again if hes still suicidal..
i guess ill sleep. ive got the chills and its not fun.
my mother and i are narcissistic. i have decided. yupp.
and seasonal whatever? fucking hell
im a real case for the therapists you know?
precognitive dreams, narcissistic, seasonal whatever, short term memory loss to top it all off....haha...and the doctors think jeffrey is autistic...
i love the movie mozart and the whale....
its about autistic people...
its really good.
i need to go buy that now...
tired. sleep? no,
maybe..
hayley and i defined our standards that men have to meet with us today.
mine are a bit tough but hayley seems to think its funny...
idk
cody is failing half of it lol
but he doesnt even realize he is so oh well
i dont care right now, whats with him and elaina and emma and all those girls
it really bugs me
i know it shouldnt but it does.
kakley dont you even dare make a sound about your relationship babble. ive heard it a bajillion times, i know what your going to say. but dont. im young. leave it be.
i miss my grandma...when i have kids, if i were to be a single mother, as i suspect i will (since no man could ever handle me for very long..) i would want my grandmother to be a larger influence in the childrens lives...but my mother would absolutely not be allowed near them..those poor children.
never. she wont get to ever meet them. ever.
i wont expose them to that.
friday i leave for new hampshire.
im so outta here.
finally.
I HATE IT HERE RIGHT NOW!
i just want to stay in my bed for a while.
or i wish it was summer
i like summer
six flags opens for spring break...
i wanna go swimming...
nighty lj
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[4. 9. 07 // @ 8 : 30 am] |
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its amazing how life can dangle menacingly at this point where everything is happening too fast and too horrible to be able to even attempt to change it. Then at the same time, to counter balance that effect theres also that time when everything is wonderful and your enjoying yourself so tremendously that it would be useless to look back or pause to regret anything because your enjoying yourself so much.
that was this weekend, i sickening mix of the two flying back and forth around me in some attempt to take over. there is no in between, only the extremes, only the drastic and most powerful emotions. of course.
it would figure right? that in the middle of having such a good time it might be considered wrong, the innevitable happens and the mood is reversed. It was a roller coaster of good and bad all weekend. The fun was always tainted, always broken by the bad but the good still managed to devour the bad enough times to say it was a good weekend.
I dont want to say i regret anything. because i dont. but the fact that i went in the first place, and then mer was going to be late to work so she couldnt drive me home, sucked. im never allowed over her house again. im never allowed to hang out with her again.
i hate my mother. the only thing that kept her temper under control yesterday was the fact that bear paw was in the house. if she could scream any more, if she could bitch and denounce me anymore i might kill her. i hate her with such passion it should end me up in jail. i wish she would fucking die. im not a cow. im not retarded. im not useless. and im not in her way. she chose to have me, she chose to raise me the way she did and everything i am today is her fault and she can fucking burn in hell the fucking cunt.
damn it.
mehhh cramps...
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[4. 8. 07 // @ 3 : 25 pm] |
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gragh
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[4. 1. 07 // @ 6 : 59 pm] |
im really liking facebook today.
some of the newsfeeds i got:
Meredith and McDreamy have changed their relationship status to "It's Complicated" ... oh wait ... "In a Relationship" ... oh wait ... "It's Complicated" again. 11:55am
Two of your oxen drowned when you tried to ford the river. 11:34pm
Harry and Voldemort have set their relationship status to "Mortal Enemies." 10:00pm
that was interesting
even better was how much i enjoyed tonights show.
no matter how impossible it was to read terrence's story (especially without laughing...) and how hard it was to sit through sam's story...and how difficult it was to sit with katie and not crack up,
i really loved it.
it may have sucked but it was fun and thats all that counts on april fools day :D
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[4. 1. 07 // @ 12 : 46 pm] |
braxton alwats seems to serve as a constant reminder of why i dont want t have kids and why i do at the same time..and i wrote this all with a pikllow on my face while hes amking me say things through it....iyd figgivuly.....snf im hoinh yo huty him......owwww....
if hes dead and you hear about it on the news, thats so my fault. jk jk
he just bit me.
gahhh
anyway, aside from his constant distraction..HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!
oh, and HAPPY PALM SUNDAY
why are they on the same day? that doesnt seem right....
mehhh so much hw..and all i can do is think about it...i cant bring myself to do them cuz idk what to do. mehhhh
i cant wait til next year...where i can apply myself to something i actually enjoy damn it.
wheres jeffrey? fuck. bye bye
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[3. 31. 07 // @ 12 : 10 am] |
BABYYYY!!!!!
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[3. 28. 07 // @ 9 : 01 pm] |
jeffrey bit a kid in school today.
what a little girl.
jk jk i only said that cuz hes reading this and threatening my life.
"andria, if you share that with others IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
yay
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[3. 25. 07 // @ 12 : 37 am] |
dont kill me dont kill me dont kill me dont kill me
im sorry, but can i go to shivs tomorrow to work on our english project (which doesnt seem to want to get done...)
ill try to make it to mmtv...but idk if i can...and i feel like i need permission to do this....
meh im sorry...
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[3. 22. 07 // @ 10 : 38 pm] |
wtf?
its not even that im worried about him cheating or anything,
its just..the idea of it. that he would actually do it, he would actually go on a date with some other girl. hello? thats not even minutely ok! if i were to do it, hed be freaking out. but its ok for him to do it cuz hes doing a favor for his brother by taking his brothers little sister to the movies or something.
she was just going out with fred murnane. that has to tell you something about her.
a. shes hott, he settles for nothing less than these days. i get to hear about it all the time in math.
b. shes easy. once again, nothing less than.
c. shes dumb. ..need i say it? nothing less than.
and what if she is hott or she is amazing or something and he does like her? what than?
how am i supposed to be ok with this?
am i the only person that sees this as wrong?
i feel wronged. i feel really really wronged.
like puke my guts out-what the fuck do you think your doing-am i retarded-was this a bad idea all together- wrong
and i dont want to feel like that.
i dont want to feel like THIS!
and i know if he were in front of me i wouldnt say or do anything because i cant get mad at him, i dont know how.
and now scott is offering to replace cody on that date thing.
why do i feel like a selfish bitch now?
oh thats right, because i am.
no scott. bad idea.
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tinkbaby423's journal
